Strawberry Jam 2023, Day Five

The last few days have been a struggle to get myself out to do anything. I've even had days where I went out, and circumstances moved in such ways for me to not do anything.

Today, I'm going to try again. I've been up all night, but it's 9am and I plan to spend the next two hours on gamedev stuff.

9:00am - I was able to get the Core Pillars done last time, but struggled on the values.

I figured a couple core values would be like, being different is good, and being yourself is good, but there's the issue that being more different to try and increase goodness isn't good, and what even IS 'yourself' that you're trying to be? A big part of the game is to explore inside, that is, learning about yourself through experiencing things in the game. So, I want the player to be questioning themself, even if all they end up doing is reassuring themselves they were right all along...

I think I need to look at the purpose of the game from a different perspective.

9:40am - The internet at this Tim Hortons is atrocious. I'm 40 minutes in, and I haven't gotten anything done because I can't listen to music because it's too slow to have YouTube play and I'm trying to get some instead of working, but also it's so slow that getting it is also a struggle...

Well I'll try and think while these other things are loading, since waiting at this point is silly...

So, there are a lot of reasons I'm making this game. I first started because I noticed how much money Xey is pulling down on Patreon and Subscribestar. I think they were on both? Maybe just one? Anyways it was more than someone would make at a minimum wage job where I live, and more than twice what I make on disability, and I thought, "I could have a better life and create something I'd enjoy and be proud of." and I guess not everybody is capable of being proud of an adult game like this but I am.

After that, I wanted to find a way to make an adult game that doesn't fall into the usual traps. The player character should be in a position where doing kinky or horny things is good rather than bad. A lot of adult games are like, you have to resist their attempts to make you horny/get off! But the thing players are there for is to enjoy the weird and pervy stuff. I've even played transformation games where if you play a good person, you never get into any weird kinky shennanigans, because it doesn't force them on you. I do NOT like being told my character should resist and then I'm punished for resisting by not getting any of the kinky stuff, and I don't like acting out of character in order to get what I want.

In Dommy Monsters, the player character came to the Space Between on their own, in some way. They know what's going on, and the world isn't going to moralize to them. It's their choice what they do, and other things are going to happen to and around them no matter what. One of the first things I intend in the game is for you to encounter a dommy monster, and you can flee and get away, only to meet another, but you can't just meet them all. If you keep pushing 'escape!' one will auto-get you because escaping every monster at the start isn't what the game is about.

While trying to come up with a game and situation where the player wouldn't be trying to resist having kinky fun, but rather doing something else while also enjoying kinky fun, I thought about what I wanted. I really like the idea of being claimed by a powerful dom. Could be a monster, or just a powerful person or something. But I also really liked the idea of having more than one, and them fighting over who gets to have me, and that was the genesis of the idea!

So, I wanted to make an adult game that wouldn't fall into the usual traps. I don't know if I'll be able to fully enjoy it myself as the dev/author or not? But we'll see. I'd like it also if by developing this game, I inspire others to make more kinky works that match what I enjoy.

Making money was an impetus, I can't deny, but it's only a small one. Making something I can enjoy and others can enjoy is a part of it too. I think there's more?

I love making games for it's own sake, I really enjoy it. When I was writing the blog post on the 1st, I had a manic smile on my face most of the time I was working. I think that would be satisfied by making most games I could come up with, though.

A big part of the idea of the game is getting other people to consider things they haven't, or to look into things they have considered. I want to have enough monsters in the game so that people will have monsters that are what they want, and also adjacent, so they can see other options, and find out if they might like them.

I'm not sure that's WHY I'm making the game, though, just what the game is meant to do.

These are all interesting ideas, though I'm not sure I'm getting closer to coming up with the values for the game or the project. I might think about this more, or I might drop it and move on to the next thing if I don't come up with something soon.

10:30pm - It is ten thirty, now. My plan was to work for 2 hours, but I'm thinking of heading out now. I did know ahead of time that I'd be tired from being up all night. I want to do some grocery shopping afterwards, and depending on how things go I'm hoping to get a second wind and stay up extra late playing video games at home.

Yeah, I'm done for now.

All the best, all!