![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
4:47pm - So, I've been really stressed out this last week preparing for a Drive Test to upgrade my license to F class. On Friday I failed that test, and now I have to wait to schedule a new one and try again. I keep saying things like "I'll get it next time." and such but I still feel awful for having failed, and in such a way.
I did okay on my driving and inspection tests but when we did the backing test I hit a pylon that represented a wall. I was doing great I think, and I saw that I was about four feet from the wall. I'm supposed to be around 3-4 feet from the wall, so I decided to pull the bus back another foot. Somehow I went four and a half feet back, hitting the cone and automatically failing the whole shebang. You're not allowed to upgrade your license if you can't even avoid a static object like an imaginary wall.
Anyways it's not abnormal for me to be depressed but this hit me harder than I'm willing to accept.
I spent the afternoon and evening in bed after the test, only after gorging myself on some food I got at the grocery store on my way home. Then today I've been in bed almost all day, not really doing anything. I tried to work on my Starfinder campaign but I realized I've all but lost interest in that...
I'm not finding any inspiration to do anything else either. I don't want to play any of my video games. I don't want to work on my programming projects. All I seem to be interested in is laying around listening to music and ruminating.
It's not good for my health, either physical or mental, so I've been trying to kickstart something, anything, but all that brings me to writing this. Sometimes I find these journal entries inspiring...
6:50pm - I forgot I had this open. I found something to be interested in. A trove of books online and one in particular that caught my interest, so for now I'm reading.
I did okay on my driving and inspection tests but when we did the backing test I hit a pylon that represented a wall. I was doing great I think, and I saw that I was about four feet from the wall. I'm supposed to be around 3-4 feet from the wall, so I decided to pull the bus back another foot. Somehow I went four and a half feet back, hitting the cone and automatically failing the whole shebang. You're not allowed to upgrade your license if you can't even avoid a static object like an imaginary wall.
Anyways it's not abnormal for me to be depressed but this hit me harder than I'm willing to accept.
I spent the afternoon and evening in bed after the test, only after gorging myself on some food I got at the grocery store on my way home. Then today I've been in bed almost all day, not really doing anything. I tried to work on my Starfinder campaign but I realized I've all but lost interest in that...
I'm not finding any inspiration to do anything else either. I don't want to play any of my video games. I don't want to work on my programming projects. All I seem to be interested in is laying around listening to music and ruminating.
It's not good for my health, either physical or mental, so I've been trying to kickstart something, anything, but all that brings me to writing this. Sometimes I find these journal entries inspiring...
6:50pm - I forgot I had this open. I found something to be interested in. A trove of books online and one in particular that caught my interest, so for now I'm reading.
