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7:07am - I'm opening a work post 'cause I've sat down to work, but right now I don't know if I'll be able to get any real work done.
I'm in a bad state mentally and emotionally, and not just 'cause of my depression. I've spent the last week or two either binging on Factorio ad nauseum or working on trying to figure out ASP.NET and Entity Framework. The second part there, the work, I'm having trouble continuing. Not because I'm depressed; I want to do things right now, I just don't want to do this. That's trouble, because I'm supposed to be working my butt off getting job ready, and then if I get a job in this field I'd be doing this sort of thing all the time, like eight hours a day or more. I don't want to do this sort of thing for a living, but at the same time, I don't want to stop. I paid money for these Udemy courses and though I'm still within the return period I just don't want to give up. It's frustrating. :/
I'd like to put them on a back burner for a while and work on my other projects, but those were getting pushed for job readiness too. Like Maple's Key, the game project I was working on before, was primarily being made so that I'd have a better, shinier game for my portfolio, not for any artistic yearning or even financial gain.
What I want to do is go back and work on my AI projects some more. But I see no way of making money off of those except MAYBE in the very long term, if I can get something worth patreonizing or some other patronfunding platform.
It seems like it would be best to get a part time job then, right? Work on my stuff part time, do the job part time, win-win? No, I'm not sure I even want to do a part-time job anymore. Companies out there are too dehumanizing and expect too much from their employees. Most employees learn to half-ass it since they're getting paid so little, but I can't do that. I have too much pride. :/
I don't know what to do with myself, I feel so lost...
7:20am - For now though I'm going to try and see what I can do with my AI Projects.
Now, I didn't keep very good offline notes before so I'm going to start by copying the ideas from my blog here to a dropboxed text file.
Bleh, this is upsetting. It's actually been almost a month since I lost my job at Robert Q and started working on learning ASP.NET, something that should probably take only a couple days by my estimation. Well, I kind've already have learned ASP.NET? It's the mastering it that I was trying to do, understanding all the things I did when I was learning it from tutorials.
7:47am - It looks like most of what I had covered before was related to conversations with the AI characters. I didn't have much up for my ideas with regards to Dynamic Scheduling.
9:12am - Played Dungeon Warfare for an hour and now I'm sleepy. I'll lay down and think about my AI some more.
I'm in a bad state mentally and emotionally, and not just 'cause of my depression. I've spent the last week or two either binging on Factorio ad nauseum or working on trying to figure out ASP.NET and Entity Framework. The second part there, the work, I'm having trouble continuing. Not because I'm depressed; I want to do things right now, I just don't want to do this. That's trouble, because I'm supposed to be working my butt off getting job ready, and then if I get a job in this field I'd be doing this sort of thing all the time, like eight hours a day or more. I don't want to do this sort of thing for a living, but at the same time, I don't want to stop. I paid money for these Udemy courses and though I'm still within the return period I just don't want to give up. It's frustrating. :/
I'd like to put them on a back burner for a while and work on my other projects, but those were getting pushed for job readiness too. Like Maple's Key, the game project I was working on before, was primarily being made so that I'd have a better, shinier game for my portfolio, not for any artistic yearning or even financial gain.
What I want to do is go back and work on my AI projects some more. But I see no way of making money off of those except MAYBE in the very long term, if I can get something worth patreonizing or some other patronfunding platform.
It seems like it would be best to get a part time job then, right? Work on my stuff part time, do the job part time, win-win? No, I'm not sure I even want to do a part-time job anymore. Companies out there are too dehumanizing and expect too much from their employees. Most employees learn to half-ass it since they're getting paid so little, but I can't do that. I have too much pride. :/
I don't know what to do with myself, I feel so lost...
7:20am - For now though I'm going to try and see what I can do with my AI Projects.
Now, I didn't keep very good offline notes before so I'm going to start by copying the ideas from my blog here to a dropboxed text file.
Bleh, this is upsetting. It's actually been almost a month since I lost my job at Robert Q and started working on learning ASP.NET, something that should probably take only a couple days by my estimation. Well, I kind've already have learned ASP.NET? It's the mastering it that I was trying to do, understanding all the things I did when I was learning it from tutorials.
7:47am - It looks like most of what I had covered before was related to conversations with the AI characters. I didn't have much up for my ideas with regards to Dynamic Scheduling.
9:12am - Played Dungeon Warfare for an hour and now I'm sleepy. I'll lay down and think about my AI some more.
