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7:55am - Well, it's later and I'm trying again. I had another sleep, but not a very restful one. There's an Amber Alert being broadcast on my roommate's phone every few minutes. It's still going. Actually let me check that... Oh geez, they found them in 90 minutes and cancelled the alert, but my roommate's phone is still going. Maybe he needs to check it? I don't know. My phone didn't do anything.
Anyways I still don't know what I want to do, and it's starting to get to me. I can't bring myself to do anything else while I'm lacking a central goal. Everything else is in service to my work, and if I don't have work, nothing matters. Or that's how it seems, anyways.
With that kind of attitude, you'd think I was already inspired to greatness, but my previous projects have mostly been make-work, and probably my next one will be too. :/
It's no wonder I'm not passionate about life when I'm lacking passion in the core of what I do, right? I don't know what to do about that, though.
I've heard people say that game development should happen mechanics first, and then you skin that with a sensible story and genre that fits. I'm not sure that's the right way to do things, though. I usually get my biggest inspiration from envisioning the goal in my head, and knowing more than mechanically what the game is.
Mechanically, the last game I worked on before the jump to the multiplayer friends game was a colony sim game. Along with trying to develop advanced AI characters, I was trying to make a 3D game where the player could construct buildings on a terrain mesh, and through it, to make basements.
The idea for the construction was to replace portions of the mesh with a 'hole' and put in a building plot voxel mesh that the townies could dig and form into a basement.
Now I'm not so sure about that anymore. That's a lot of work for not a lot of reward. What do I really need basements for? And for that matter, why do the people need to have uniquely designed buildings? And for that matter, why do the people need buildings to be the same scene as the outside?
These are all things I want, but are they neccesary? I'm not sure.
I could make the houses be static exteriors that operate as portals to interior spaces that can be personalized and decorated.
I'm not sure that's what I want to make though. It's just easier.
Then there's the appeal of Dwarf Fortress. I could make the whole thing a voxel sim and make it way more complicated. I'm not sure a prebuilt engine would be sensible for a project like that, and yet I don't want to make my own engine from scratch. Of course, Dwarf Fortress has been in production for a really long time and it has a long way to go too.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my time. Dwarf Fortress is already there, and the 'improvements' I would make on the design are pretty small. I could make a colony sim that focused on something else, like advanced AI and interesting interactions with the NPCs, instead of building complex structures. That would be easier for me but also very hard and complex and worthwhile, right?
Then I go back to thinking about Animal Crossing. I can't make the sort of content tsunami that an Animal Crossing game demands on my own, but isn't what I want to make something like that, with more elaborate NPCs?
Maybe instead of a demanding colony simulation, I should make a casual relaxation game? Someplace to spend your spare time. Maybe something you could have open in a window, just to watch it go. Like a pet simulator, but it's a pet world.
I could simulate a small community of people, just doing their thing. That certainly has an appeal.
But what would they actually do? The Sims can get a bit dull when you just eat, sleep, interact with 'fun' objects, and go to work.
Of course in Animal Crossing, the NPCs don't do much on their own. They wander around seemingly at random and have chores for you to do. There's more to it than that, but it's hard to see it happening.
What else could I have them do? And how much is too much?
8:40am - I just went and looked up the Animal Crossing behaviors and it seems it's more simple than I thought. Alas. Still, that just means mine can be more interesting.
I'm having trouble thinking about what I actually want them to do, though. Like, should I make a full life simulation, or something simpler, and if so, then what?
Without the colony simulation game, what does the player do?
9:08am - I'm stressed out over this and want to take a break and escape, but I don't know how or what to do. :/
11:04am - After a lot of stress and complaining to a friend I finally got myself to play some video games and relax(?) a bit. I'm not sure it helped though. I still don't know what to do with myself. :/
4:11pm - When my roommate finally got up we started talking, and I invited him out to breakfast to try and get myself out of the apartment for a while. We talked some more and he came up with the idea of giving me a game dev task and a deadline, and we're gonna try that. So I'll probably start that later, since now that I feel like I've done something, I feel like I can rest as well. We'll see how it goes.
5:02pm - Alright now I'm getting tired, so I think I'll take a rest for now and do more stuff later. Take care, readers.
Anyways I still don't know what I want to do, and it's starting to get to me. I can't bring myself to do anything else while I'm lacking a central goal. Everything else is in service to my work, and if I don't have work, nothing matters. Or that's how it seems, anyways.
With that kind of attitude, you'd think I was already inspired to greatness, but my previous projects have mostly been make-work, and probably my next one will be too. :/
It's no wonder I'm not passionate about life when I'm lacking passion in the core of what I do, right? I don't know what to do about that, though.
I've heard people say that game development should happen mechanics first, and then you skin that with a sensible story and genre that fits. I'm not sure that's the right way to do things, though. I usually get my biggest inspiration from envisioning the goal in my head, and knowing more than mechanically what the game is.
Mechanically, the last game I worked on before the jump to the multiplayer friends game was a colony sim game. Along with trying to develop advanced AI characters, I was trying to make a 3D game where the player could construct buildings on a terrain mesh, and through it, to make basements.
The idea for the construction was to replace portions of the mesh with a 'hole' and put in a building plot voxel mesh that the townies could dig and form into a basement.
Now I'm not so sure about that anymore. That's a lot of work for not a lot of reward. What do I really need basements for? And for that matter, why do the people need to have uniquely designed buildings? And for that matter, why do the people need buildings to be the same scene as the outside?
These are all things I want, but are they neccesary? I'm not sure.
I could make the houses be static exteriors that operate as portals to interior spaces that can be personalized and decorated.
I'm not sure that's what I want to make though. It's just easier.
Then there's the appeal of Dwarf Fortress. I could make the whole thing a voxel sim and make it way more complicated. I'm not sure a prebuilt engine would be sensible for a project like that, and yet I don't want to make my own engine from scratch. Of course, Dwarf Fortress has been in production for a really long time and it has a long way to go too.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my time. Dwarf Fortress is already there, and the 'improvements' I would make on the design are pretty small. I could make a colony sim that focused on something else, like advanced AI and interesting interactions with the NPCs, instead of building complex structures. That would be easier for me but also very hard and complex and worthwhile, right?
Then I go back to thinking about Animal Crossing. I can't make the sort of content tsunami that an Animal Crossing game demands on my own, but isn't what I want to make something like that, with more elaborate NPCs?
Maybe instead of a demanding colony simulation, I should make a casual relaxation game? Someplace to spend your spare time. Maybe something you could have open in a window, just to watch it go. Like a pet simulator, but it's a pet world.
I could simulate a small community of people, just doing their thing. That certainly has an appeal.
But what would they actually do? The Sims can get a bit dull when you just eat, sleep, interact with 'fun' objects, and go to work.
Of course in Animal Crossing, the NPCs don't do much on their own. They wander around seemingly at random and have chores for you to do. There's more to it than that, but it's hard to see it happening.
What else could I have them do? And how much is too much?
8:40am - I just went and looked up the Animal Crossing behaviors and it seems it's more simple than I thought. Alas. Still, that just means mine can be more interesting.
I'm having trouble thinking about what I actually want them to do, though. Like, should I make a full life simulation, or something simpler, and if so, then what?
Without the colony simulation game, what does the player do?
9:08am - I'm stressed out over this and want to take a break and escape, but I don't know how or what to do. :/
11:04am - After a lot of stress and complaining to a friend I finally got myself to play some video games and relax(?) a bit. I'm not sure it helped though. I still don't know what to do with myself. :/
4:11pm - When my roommate finally got up we started talking, and I invited him out to breakfast to try and get myself out of the apartment for a while. We talked some more and he came up with the idea of giving me a game dev task and a deadline, and we're gonna try that. So I'll probably start that later, since now that I feel like I've done something, I feel like I can rest as well. We'll see how it goes.
5:02pm - Alright now I'm getting tired, so I think I'll take a rest for now and do more stuff later. Take care, readers.
